Make this the Year

I keep seeing that graphic of "2023 is the year when people show you who they are and you believe them" and I'm sitting here like y'all have already been doing that with people like me, don't worry 😆

Some of us give shit first (or ongoing) impressions but are still ok humans, fyi. I'm more put off by potential manipulators who know how to "check all the boxes" off the bat and show good behavior. No I'm not talking about masking, I'm talking about people who try to effect a social outcome, for survival reasons or otherwise.

So maybe 2023 is the year we don't mute people like TV channels just because they say occasional off-putting stuff. I think we could stand to connect better and practice a touch of social resilience without running away at someone else's every misstep.

No I am not telling people to put up with harm. I'm saying most people are going about life trying their best and we forget the fuck out of that sometimes. Stop dropping people because they do some shit that's not precisely in alignment with you.

Let the people you really want to call friend screw up and be messy, actually talk to them lovingly & call them in if they're doing/did harmful stuff (guess what's gotten me soooohohoho dummmped many times lalala) and love yourself enough to advocate for yourself in a relationship without secretly judging and side-eyeing someone you claim to care about just for the sake of putting up with something.

And like, shit or get off the pot. If a person is persistently not bringing you joy to be around, be willing to face that and have hard conversations. Telling a person they've been hurtful or harmful, without wasting an inappropriate level of labor on it, can potentially stop others from being harmed going forward. At least then the offender can start trying to correct even if they keep fucking up. They can fuck up without you there. Just fyi sometimes that exit conversation is more valuable than you can know.


Graphic by Marcella Kroll



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