Blessed Virgin of the Circus- 20.

Image by Karla Usagi

Mara had absolutely no idea why Mala had taken pity on her and allowed her the spell for $50 plus three weeks of babysitting every other day, but she wasn’t about to argue with the offer. After her meeting with Mala, she cradled the little string doll in her hands. Mala had given her an orange-yellow candle with a picture of the Virgin, though not like she had ever witnessed the Blessed Virgin. She was to pray to the Virgin for the person she wanted to leave to be safe for three days, and for Jesus to protect him on his way. On the fourth day, she was to place the string doll in a tiny manila envelope with a sprig of mint leaf (Mara and Yana grew one tiny plant of it) and a crushed-up earthy powder that Mala had given her and was to burn the packet. She was to rub another mint leaf between her palms after the burning.

Mara felt a bit uneasy at first. But she remembered from church being told that God and Jesus loved everyone, and she believed that if she released Jerry on his way then he would come to no harm. What she truly, passionately wanted was for the whole incident to be forgotten after this. Yana had started working some short dayshifts after calling out sick for the week, and a slow sense of relief was returning to their camper.

Her greater disbelief had come from Mala’s behavioral turns on a dime. She tried to think not much of it.

“Hey Yana, have you ever, um, visited Mala? Like for a reading?”

“No. Mara, you know I don’t believe in that stuff. Fucking superstitious FOBs.” The half-conscious groans about the Virgin from her past few days in agony or stupor had faded. Her atheism was back.

“Oh. Ok. I just…she acts weird. A lot of the time. She’s beaten me up before. Like punched me. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say anything, but they started a fight club.”

“Who started a fight club? What the fuck? I’m sure LaShawn would have a conniption!”

“Mala and Bao and Annie and Jen. I didn’t even know she was physical like that, running around after the kids all day. I guess it keeps you in shape?”

“Well shit. Do you want to say something to LaShawn?”

“Not right now. I need to wait for some stuff to happen.”

“Your choice. You know I don’t blab and barely talk to anyone anyway.”

“Yeah. Let’s wait.”

A brief look of concern, flashed over Yana's face. One of her short-lived sisterly moments.

**

Mara did the spell exactly as she was told. Full focus, no hesitation. She even visualized Jerry far away, back home with Hernan. Living peacefully, as if nothing had ever happened or ever would. Maybe this whole thing with him being in the circus had never existed. Maybe she and Yana were still little kids and aunt Lala and the relatives were still there. Lala’s smile. Later during practice, she visualized herself high on the tightrope, muscles feeling normal, body as at ease as if she hadn’t already done forty-five minutes of exertion. Jerry wasn’t there, but it wasn’t LaShawn running training, even though he’d be the only competent replacement right now. Another man whose face she could not see. Maybe it was always the same one.

Mara put out the flame from the fire used to burn the packet. For several seconds, she felt the air rushing through the center of her hands. Both of them. No pain this time.