Blessed Virgin of the Circus- 18.

Mara blinked open her eyes gently. Her body felt nicely rested. No disturbance seemed to be remembered or to register. Fresh, speckled morning light seeped into the camper. It smelled like somebody had recently cleaned in there. Even Yana’s face looked peaceful. Maybe their transformations had brought them together.

Yana stirred, slowly.

“Yana,” Mara said softly, “What’re you going to do if you can’t get rid of it?”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe get rid of myself. Fuck kids. I don’t want children. I don’t care what Aunt Lala said, or anybody, or if it’s part of our stupid culture, which I don’t even remember. I don’t want any kids.”

“Neither do I, Yana. I understand. Just…please don’t die. I don’t want you to die.” Mara’s voice became genuinely sad. And this was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen Yana.

“I…I won’t. I want a good life, some good money, to do a few amazing shows. I do maybe want a husband one day. Not now. For now, we get through this.”

“Can you promise me?”

“You are so fucking cheesy, Mara.”

**

Mara never reported Jerry. She didn’t even know what to do. Technically he was her superior, in some way. Technically coworkers onsite also weren’t supposed to be lodging with each other but it was one of those between the lines things, because LaShawn knew he couldn’t really regulate any of it, so people just fucked or cohabitated with whom they wanted. Few people camped anyway, so as long as people kept the partying down, LaShawn wasn’t required to get angry about it.

Mara told the statue one day, but she didn’t tell Yana. She didn’t want to get made fun of. Yana was always making fun of her relationship with Jerry anyway, though now it appears that she’d been right that having him as her “dad” was creepy. She didn’t want to look a fool. Given his schedule leading morning workouts, she’d managed to avoid seeing him walking around. The understudies would usually hold a midday shift of practices. Mara was determined to fix everything.

**

LaShawn called her into his office after about another week.

“How’s the medical stuff coming along.”

“Good. My doctor says that I can go back to being a cast understudy now.”

“Do you have a note from your doctor?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” She fumbled in her bag.

“Ok. Give me some time to go through the computer schedule and see what we can do. You’re good for the tightrope, right? And all the aerial acro?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been going to all the pickup practices with main cast?”

“Only every other time, like understudies are allowed to do.”

“Ok. Let me get back to you soon.”

Mara smiled.