Waiting for Dildot- Part 1

Part 1

Vixodin: I say, Estrogen, this dick isn't going to stand on command and suck itself.

Estrogen: I wholeheartedly agree. What is it with marital aids these days anyway? Now they have to put fake testicles in the mold. People can't be happy with the slimline fashion anymore?

Vixodin: Oh, Estrogen, get with the times. Now all the kids are using sex toys as apps on their phones. Give it a jiggle and it'll vibrate.

Estrogen: Now that is truly tragic, Vix. Truly, I say unto you.

V: Suppose I were hung?

E: Well then, this dick-sucking business wouldn't be a problem now, would it?

V: Really Estie, there must be better uses for that sappy, emotional mouth of yours.

E: But I'm sad. Postcoital morbidity. The closing act of Thanatos that quickly follows four boring acts of Eros.

V: I thought you only had three holes.

E: Ear fucking! That's it! It'll give my bellybutton a rest.

V: Mmmm. I see.

E: Come on now, you don't like the suggestion?

V: How can you talk about coming, Estrogen? You know he's not going to.

E: Who?

V: Dildot.

E: If he never comes, however did we get these lovely Dildot trees? And dildot bushes? And dildot bouquets?

V: They are from a time past, Estie. He has already come and gone. His rapturous plastic slaves are we.

E: He fucks us all with his loving guidance.

V: You don't really believe any of that nonsense, do you?

E: No, I don't suppose I do...

V: That one day he will really come, and it won't just be soapy water out of a squirt pump?

E: extremely fake orgasm noises

V: What was that?

E: A stage direction?

V: Hey, did you know that my name came from a porno?

E: No. Really?

V: Yeah.

E: Wait, are you sure you didn't mean *you* came while watching a porno?

V: No. But yes. But no.

E: Soooooo....(awkward, 1-minute silence, then quickly)when he, ahem, "arrives", will our pants be down?

V: How should I know that?

E: I thought you were omnimpotent.

V: I think the word you're looking for is "omnipotent." And no. You must be mistaking me for someone else.

E: Ohhhhhhhhhhh. smacks lips together, long pause, awkward silence. I want to come again.

V: Me too.

They wait, standing several feet apart. Nothing happens.

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