Gender rant: I'm not here to give you a boner and neither is anyone else.
I'm going to work this kind of like a list of extended bullet points.
Hey, kids. So let's talk about a little something called gender expression. Gender expression comes in many different varieties, and has taken on different sub-labels in popular or regional culture. Some of these labels that you might know are concepts like "dyke" "femme" "twink" "tranny" and other terms. Though there doesn't seem to be an overarching consensus on whether or not certain terms are considered offensive, partially due to the culture of term reappropriation in recent years (for instance, affectionately or cattily using the term "fag" within the gay male community), mainstream culture has adopted some terms and concepts as shorthand for certain gendered lifestyles.
I argue this- No one should be unfairly reduced to their gender expression by anyone else. I believe that it is unfair to assume that someone considered to adopt a more conventionally "feminine" self-expression (and this can encompass a MYRIAD of populations, from hetero femmes, to lipstick lesbians, to biologically male heterosexual cross-dressers and more) will be: incompetent, stupid, superficial, one-dimensional or anything else. I believe it is wrong to make other assumptions about other more "masculine" subgroups.
While I would argue with and modify some parts of the feminist concept of "rape culture," I do believe this: I think it is also unfair and unacceptable to make assumptions about anyone's sexual availability, willingness or fulfillment of anyone's personal fetish or preference based SOLELY on gender expression, ignoring other concepts like social cues, other relationship, other personality traits, etc.
Simply put, just because someone is butch, femme, androgynous or anything else doesn't mean that they exist just to get you off, or that they will be automatically willing to assume a certain role if you pursue a relationship with them.
And now, a personal note: I believe it is also unfair, in a relationship or dating context, to delineate lines of acceptability of gender expression based on other statements. For example, saying something like "I'm so glad you're not like my ex, he was such a weak girly-boy," in my opinion, places undue pressure on the subject of this statement to socially perform opposite to the "bad" example presented by their partner here. I just think it's unfair. Sure, a lot of these things that I mentioned happen all the time, but that doesn't make them ok.
I have had many a conversation, mostly with self-identified heterosexual men, about the concept of sexual/dating "preference," arousal and how this aligns with sex, power and race. That is subject matter for a whole dissertation. To sum up my own opinion VERY BRIEFLY, I do believe that most people in a society, subculture or minority are enculturated from a young age to find certain things attractive, and that these tend to be in line with power structures. For more on that you can check out, well, anything written by Michel Foucault.
Thank you for allowing me this foray back into cultural studies =p
Hey, kids. So let's talk about a little something called gender expression. Gender expression comes in many different varieties, and has taken on different sub-labels in popular or regional culture. Some of these labels that you might know are concepts like "dyke" "femme" "twink" "tranny" and other terms. Though there doesn't seem to be an overarching consensus on whether or not certain terms are considered offensive, partially due to the culture of term reappropriation in recent years (for instance, affectionately or cattily using the term "fag" within the gay male community), mainstream culture has adopted some terms and concepts as shorthand for certain gendered lifestyles.
I argue this- No one should be unfairly reduced to their gender expression by anyone else. I believe that it is unfair to assume that someone considered to adopt a more conventionally "feminine" self-expression (and this can encompass a MYRIAD of populations, from hetero femmes, to lipstick lesbians, to biologically male heterosexual cross-dressers and more) will be: incompetent, stupid, superficial, one-dimensional or anything else. I believe it is wrong to make other assumptions about other more "masculine" subgroups.
While I would argue with and modify some parts of the feminist concept of "rape culture," I do believe this: I think it is also unfair and unacceptable to make assumptions about anyone's sexual availability, willingness or fulfillment of anyone's personal fetish or preference based SOLELY on gender expression, ignoring other concepts like social cues, other relationship, other personality traits, etc.
Simply put, just because someone is butch, femme, androgynous or anything else doesn't mean that they exist just to get you off, or that they will be automatically willing to assume a certain role if you pursue a relationship with them.
And now, a personal note: I believe it is also unfair, in a relationship or dating context, to delineate lines of acceptability of gender expression based on other statements. For example, saying something like "I'm so glad you're not like my ex, he was such a weak girly-boy," in my opinion, places undue pressure on the subject of this statement to socially perform opposite to the "bad" example presented by their partner here. I just think it's unfair. Sure, a lot of these things that I mentioned happen all the time, but that doesn't make them ok.
I have had many a conversation, mostly with self-identified heterosexual men, about the concept of sexual/dating "preference," arousal and how this aligns with sex, power and race. That is subject matter for a whole dissertation. To sum up my own opinion VERY BRIEFLY, I do believe that most people in a society, subculture or minority are enculturated from a young age to find certain things attractive, and that these tend to be in line with power structures. For more on that you can check out, well, anything written by Michel Foucault.
Thank you for allowing me this foray back into cultural studies =p
*slow claps* Well said.
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