Posts

I Have Buying Power, and you are my Service Provider, Dammit

Recently on Bluesky I wrote a thread about the first major experiences 10 years ago that caused me to get un-addicted to social media and revamped my PoV about it to instead understand social media platforms (particularly Meta and Xitter, but honestly a lot of places have their icky aspects) as places that are authentically harming a lot of people. Seeing how arbitrary the treatment I received during that encounter 10 years ago was, plus post- 10/7/23 when I saw a space that was previously supposed to be fun not only become a propaganda machine (for no singular viewpoint) and a viewfinder for the endless slaughter and torture of people, I grew heavily disillusioned with how socials were functioning. Those were the big moments during which I started to notice the diminishing returns. It then became slightly easier to leave spaces that were suffocating me with their lack of reach. What, so I pay in personal data but you don’t show my stuff to anyone? Not reciprocal. In a lot of ways,...
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What do People Even Mean by "Self Love?"

What do people even mean when they talk about self-love? I’ve seen the rhetoric around Valentine’s Day move from romantic and sexual love, to galentines and palentines, to self-love, and that is such a strange concept to me, because I think Americans have a great methodology of self-loathing (thank you, destructive Xtian hegemonic practices that don’t talk about healthy accountability at all), but I don’t even know what people are referring to at its core when they talk about self-love. Are they talking about self-acceptance? Are they talking about commitment to freedom from guilt and shame, especially for the past? Are they talking about the spiritual and psychological equivalent of body positivity or body neutrality, like accepting your flaws—which, it’s worthy to note, has also been extensively weaponized by some to just consistently excuse away abusive and shitty behavior? Are they talking about neutral acceptance of the fact that we all have healthy egos and take things personally...
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David Lynch Moments

Here's one of those weird peripherally personal stories about Lynch. When I was between 8-10 in the early 90s, my mother used to visit this elderly Romanian professor in Garden Grove. He was fluent in at least 4 or 5 languages but not too strong in English. Occasionally he and I were able to communicate in French. I was often bored in his house and I don't even think he had a working TV, or if there was my mom wouldn't let me watch it. He did however, seem to, like many immigrants I knew at the time, collect stacks of TV Guides--both for the English practice and the pop culture understanding. And that was the first place I learned about Twin Peaks. It seemed so sophisticated and grown-up, and I often got it mixed up with Knots Landing (also quite frequently on the cover of TV Guide at the time). I remember once reading an article about the show but I don't remember what it said. The visits to the Professor eventually ended. He had a home caregiver, and eventually he was...
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December 2024 Navel-Gazing

Fifi Dosch and Robin Tran have inspired me with their Skin Suit podcast , and a lot of what Robin talks about re: personal growth has really been hitting hard with me lately. Seriously, if you haven’t listened, you should. I’ve been talking to my therapist about how after The Great Unfriending of 2024, I’m honestly kind of going down the list of people that I could reach out to to add back on The Failbooks, and...I don’t want to. Not because I think they’re garbage people, but because sincerely, I don’t think I am actively enhancing that many peoples’ lives, or really can, at one time. We’ve turned viewing each others’ stuff into what I consider to be really passive spectatorship on social media, and that makes me despondent in a lot of ways. I realized this with the aftermath of That One Online Magicky Group a few of us were in. First of all, I’m not sure I was tangibly improving a lot of those peoples’ lives very much; I don’t think I always prioritize talking about social issues o...
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Comedy Realizations 2.5 Years In

I just had some realizations. No this is not me getting cocky or acting like I know everything. Just journaling some realizations. I'm also not reciting any of this in a judgy way. They're just observations. They also might be more specific to my city than to other cities. Or not. -Some people are actors who are good at acting like funny comedians onstage (A lot of people I watch at mics.) -Some people are funny people who are working on being good and consistently funny comedians, or are definitely good and consistently funny comedians. I can only hope some version of this is me, and I see a lot of people like this at mics and shows, too, and the people I respect and aspire to emulate in the comedy scene are like this. -Some people are comedians who are not funny/are depressing much of the time. If a person has reached feature or headliner status and is like this, it's likely that this is some kind of a persona that they determined worked for them at some point, but ...
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Pop Culture Nation-A Recovered Memory of Cherished Treasures

Sometime between 2004 and Spring of 2006, I forcefully slammed a very large shoebox full of cassette tapes into the garbage can at my mother's house. You don't understand. Not just original cassette tapes. Mix tapes. During the peak hipster era of High Fidelity and Say Anything (much older, because yes we were already rehashing nostalgia), I committed a high crime against art and Xennial self-determination. I remember neither the context of the conflict, nor why I desired so strongly to sabotage myself. Was it later than then? Had I moved out again? Was it closer to 2008? I couldn't tell you. But I knew I was on one of my decluttering kicks. Inasmuch as I am messy and allow things to pile up (hopefully not to a hoarderly level) I have also gotten on occasionally forceful kicks of throwing my possessions away. Mostly because they reminded me of a part of myself that was over. Around this same time I think I dumped all the handwritten letters between me and beloved friends be...
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Random Brain Dump 6/20/24

I always like to take stock of stuff in my life at this time of year. So let's talk about a few things.First, something really positive. One of my yoga students/co-practitioners who has been with me the longest, is now embarking on teaching as a student and just recently, teaching online as a student. I'm super proud of her. She will be done with her full program and be ready to certify, projected by the end of December of this year, but I believe we all progress in our own timeline, so maybe give or take! Second, I'm seeking a bit more summertime employment that's predictable, and something for 10-20 additional hours per week would be just perfect. Or, you could join me for group donation yoga on Thursdays at 10am, sign up for private yoga or fitness sessions, sign onto home decluttering with me for between one and as many sessions as you need, or hire me for short-term copyediting or writing projects. I've been fitness and yoga certified since 2013 through AFAA/NA...
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