General Strike

Has anyone else absolutely lost the joy to do any of what they used to do creatively pre-pandemic?

I'm now finding myself mostly leaving another dance realm because my body just doesn't feel like it's working the same way anymore, and I don't want to be a weird delulu middle aged person who is trying to battle kids in their 20s. Battling is specific to the genre I perform and while I know it's part of our, and more largely, street/BIPoC urban dance history, it really isn't my thing. I guess I could even bring up some pseudo-academic point about how marginalized people getting pitted against each other as our ticket to excellence is fucked. And part of our internalized oppression. But maybe that should be obvious? I dunno.

In fact, now that the dances I do have little cultural or contextual valence in the sense of being anchored in some international cultures, I feel like it's all less significant. The work I do is now rooted mostly in USA LGBTQ and sex worker culture, and while that *should* feel like a deeply important place to speak from, it certainly doesn't feel like the same level of priority. And feels more throwaway to me somehow.
This is part of why I also never quite understood the "belly dance for white womens' fun and fitness" approach in that world, cause um, obviously, it was always cultural to some degree. But I've retired so I should fuck off from that scene's business, to hugely paraphrase some white lady in that community who had also mostly retired when they said the thing to me. (Real me is salty, in case you've forgotten.)

Truthfully, it feels ok to admit that perhaps I've grown away from certain things, without becoming stuck on the obstacles part. In our new world of positively drowning in saturation of "content," who the hell are we right now? Especially in saturation of content that has the intention of eliciting a specific emotional hook or response. What are we reaching for and what are we creating? Are we attempting to work intentionally or are we just trauma zombies day in, day out? Are we making peoples' suffering into our brand? (Almost no one answers yes when you ask them that directly, but boy have I seen people mining current events directly, not just "de-stress with yoga!" for their brands, and it's gross.)

Relatedly to The Era of Peak Content and Enshittification, cutting through the noise as an artist now has become demoralizing and awful. As live performance venues continue to shutter, the only messages I ever receive from festivals, events and shows I do not get into is about "a record number of applicants." And then the expectation to be mineable for content, soundbiteable in 400 different places, have 30 different social media platforms, and yet we're also out here expected to go to people's shows to support, likesharesubscriberepeat fill up our doom inboxes with newsletter after newsletter...

So I hope you quit. And I fucking hope that maybe I quit, too. I hope this stops. But in the meantime, I'm starting to understand what "general strike" means. And not in a way that is being co-opted for the victory and personhood of only one group of people. For the benefit of everyone.