Night Town: The Acidhead Avengers Part 4--If you See Something, Say Something
There was going to be no Danny's Diner tonight. At least not for a while. An incredibly, exhaustingly long while. Gabe had decided to take Dalene on a ridealong during his dayjob. Which was really his night job. But so it was for most Night Towners. Unless they converted.
Today it was neon green socks for Dalene. "Real cute," said Gabe, as she rolled into the passenger's seat.
"I never know when you're being serious with that stuff."
"Does it always have to be a thing? Is bickering always necessary? I just wonder why you dress like a sixteen-year-old lesbian raver sometimes."
"This is a great start," low-toned Dalene. The two were quiet for about 10 minutes following that. Dalene crossed her arms and leaned her temple near the window, and Gabe gently turned up the dubstep for the ride.
Gabe's day-night job was to use a special GPS placement device to detect billboard placement for a major company in the area. Each placed billboard had an online profile where he was able to make notes about the site.
Dalene perked up. "It's like we're cops on the beat. But with nothing to report."
"Hey, I have a job to do here."
Dalene nudged him with an elbow. "I was doing a funny. C'mon, fucker." Gabe finally cracked a slight smile.
The remainder of an hour rolled by. Conversation turned to their first Shamanism classes together, then to Gabe and Dalene's alternating periods of homelessness. Voluntary for Gabe, briefly, and involuntary for Dalene. "I always thought it was so funny that I learned I really don't need money, and you learned that you really do, during those times."
"Yep." Gabe didn't have too much to add. "Aaand now we're here."
"You did pick a great job for a Night Towner, G."
"I fell into it, but it's worth staying for a while."
"And yet somehow we still manage to haunt Danny's at least twice a week..."
"We're teaching the people. Always."
"I thought we decided to get business cards because we were high one night and it was our great idea of a practical joke."
"Shh, nobody ever believes the real story. Let them think a god told us."
Another 45 minutes rolled past. A night but not graveyard shift.
"Your suspension is messed."
"I know."
Suddenly they were driving in wilderness, over Hinkel's Pass
"How'd we get here?"
"Magic."
The area was known for its eerie feeling, and also, occasionally, its immigrant smuggling from Mexico.
"They want you to inspect all the boards by the state terrain, too?"
"Of course. It's part of the route."
"Creepy as shit, man," said Dalene. "Ever seen anything crazy out here?"
Gabe got quieter. "A dead body or two. I think sometimes there are gang executions out here. Not U.S. gangs."
They were both silent for a minute or two. The route was disturbingly deserted.
"I have to pee." Gabe pulled over so that Dalene could find a comfortable cluster of bushes. The last bathroom was way over the Pass. Conveniently, where Gabe chose to pull off was right under a Marline's Steakhouse billboard, so he could do inspection notes during Dalene's pit stop.
Gabe looked back and forth from his GPS handheld to the sign, scrutinizing it. At that moment, he saw three people scaling down the side of the sign. They were wearing black clothing and hoods that obscured their entire faces besides their eyes. A few more minutes passed. Dalene returned.
"You'll never believe what I just saw."
"The chupacabra? Aliens?"
"Three people dressed like ninjas scaling the Marline's billboard."
"Ninjas. Ok. So, like, what are you supposed to do about that? Should we call Homeland Security or something?"
"I mean, I guess I should call the cops first. Or the Sheriff."
"Yeah. Agreed. Did they vandalize the sign? Do you need to tell your work?"
"Not that I can tell..."
"Then let's just tell the po-po and leave, because I am getting the creeps."
"We're superheros and shamans. Aren't we not supposed to be afraid of this stuff?"
"Fuck you, dude, I just want out of here."
Gabe picked up the phone. "Hello? Uh, is this Brownley County Sheriff's office? Yes. I'd like to report some weird people who look like terrorists."
"YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT IT THAT WAY," whispered Dalene, as loudly as possible. Gabe continued with his description. After about fifteen minutes, he finished and hung up the phone. "Ok. Well they don't seem to have done anything to the sign, so I think the side of it for my work notes are ok."
"Let's go. ASAP."
"I have three more billboards to do in the area. So about 15 more minutes."
"Fuck. Let's hurry up, then." Dalene remained silent for about 10 of them.
"Ok," said Gabe, "there's one more, and it's like we're driving out of the pass, and then we'll be in Blinder's Valley, where's there's a highway connection back to Route 237."
"Just get it over with." They pulled up to the final sign, an ad for Milford Home Loans. They both looked up at the same time. They both witnessed the corpse with a white bandanna around its neck hanging from the billboard at the same moment.
"I guess I will take the hit for missing this one on the report. I'll say my car was running out of gas."
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK."
"Wow, Dalene. I've never seen you lose it like this."
"We've never had to deal with a dead body."
Gabe's car sped off towards the city lights.
"I wonder if there's a Danny's in this neighborhood. At least it'll be less creepy than this."
Today it was neon green socks for Dalene. "Real cute," said Gabe, as she rolled into the passenger's seat.
"I never know when you're being serious with that stuff."
"Does it always have to be a thing? Is bickering always necessary? I just wonder why you dress like a sixteen-year-old lesbian raver sometimes."
"This is a great start," low-toned Dalene. The two were quiet for about 10 minutes following that. Dalene crossed her arms and leaned her temple near the window, and Gabe gently turned up the dubstep for the ride.
Gabe's day-night job was to use a special GPS placement device to detect billboard placement for a major company in the area. Each placed billboard had an online profile where he was able to make notes about the site.
Dalene perked up. "It's like we're cops on the beat. But with nothing to report."
"Hey, I have a job to do here."
Dalene nudged him with an elbow. "I was doing a funny. C'mon, fucker." Gabe finally cracked a slight smile.
The remainder of an hour rolled by. Conversation turned to their first Shamanism classes together, then to Gabe and Dalene's alternating periods of homelessness. Voluntary for Gabe, briefly, and involuntary for Dalene. "I always thought it was so funny that I learned I really don't need money, and you learned that you really do, during those times."
"Yep." Gabe didn't have too much to add. "Aaand now we're here."
"You did pick a great job for a Night Towner, G."
"I fell into it, but it's worth staying for a while."
"And yet somehow we still manage to haunt Danny's at least twice a week..."
"We're teaching the people. Always."
"I thought we decided to get business cards because we were high one night and it was our great idea of a practical joke."
"Shh, nobody ever believes the real story. Let them think a god told us."
Another 45 minutes rolled past. A night but not graveyard shift.
"Your suspension is messed."
"I know."
Suddenly they were driving in wilderness, over Hinkel's Pass
"How'd we get here?"
"Magic."
The area was known for its eerie feeling, and also, occasionally, its immigrant smuggling from Mexico.
"They want you to inspect all the boards by the state terrain, too?"
"Of course. It's part of the route."
"Creepy as shit, man," said Dalene. "Ever seen anything crazy out here?"
Gabe got quieter. "A dead body or two. I think sometimes there are gang executions out here. Not U.S. gangs."
They were both silent for a minute or two. The route was disturbingly deserted.
"I have to pee." Gabe pulled over so that Dalene could find a comfortable cluster of bushes. The last bathroom was way over the Pass. Conveniently, where Gabe chose to pull off was right under a Marline's Steakhouse billboard, so he could do inspection notes during Dalene's pit stop.
Gabe looked back and forth from his GPS handheld to the sign, scrutinizing it. At that moment, he saw three people scaling down the side of the sign. They were wearing black clothing and hoods that obscured their entire faces besides their eyes. A few more minutes passed. Dalene returned.
"You'll never believe what I just saw."
"The chupacabra? Aliens?"
"Three people dressed like ninjas scaling the Marline's billboard."
"Ninjas. Ok. So, like, what are you supposed to do about that? Should we call Homeland Security or something?"
"I mean, I guess I should call the cops first. Or the Sheriff."
"Yeah. Agreed. Did they vandalize the sign? Do you need to tell your work?"
"Not that I can tell..."
"Then let's just tell the po-po and leave, because I am getting the creeps."
"We're superheros and shamans. Aren't we not supposed to be afraid of this stuff?"
"Fuck you, dude, I just want out of here."
Gabe picked up the phone. "Hello? Uh, is this Brownley County Sheriff's office? Yes. I'd like to report some weird people who look like terrorists."
"YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT IT THAT WAY," whispered Dalene, as loudly as possible. Gabe continued with his description. After about fifteen minutes, he finished and hung up the phone. "Ok. Well they don't seem to have done anything to the sign, so I think the side of it for my work notes are ok."
"Let's go. ASAP."
"I have three more billboards to do in the area. So about 15 more minutes."
"Fuck. Let's hurry up, then." Dalene remained silent for about 10 of them.
"Ok," said Gabe, "there's one more, and it's like we're driving out of the pass, and then we'll be in Blinder's Valley, where's there's a highway connection back to Route 237."
"Just get it over with." They pulled up to the final sign, an ad for Milford Home Loans. They both looked up at the same time. They both witnessed the corpse with a white bandanna around its neck hanging from the billboard at the same moment.
"I guess I will take the hit for missing this one on the report. I'll say my car was running out of gas."
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK."
"Wow, Dalene. I've never seen you lose it like this."
"We've never had to deal with a dead body."
Gabe's car sped off towards the city lights.
"I wonder if there's a Danny's in this neighborhood. At least it'll be less creepy than this."
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