Subject to Change. Draft 4.

I awoke at 0400 hours. See, I like to say it like military time. I was a foreigner. My face and body felt stuffed with cotton. "Arghawals and spelnfurkefukufs." The doctor was speaking gibberish. It was silly; I did not want to live. "You will be on suicide watch for all eternity" they said. Did you know that the medications they gave me made me want to attempt again? I guess they lied and laughed. Now I stagger inside the cell of my parental home. Parietal home. I'm not the man she knew. Their attempts to save me were noble. I was not where I once was. I am going to try to do that thing again. I will not say the words. I'll be leaving now. Into dusky, deep-night sleep. Give my regards to hot nights and nosy neighbors. I am in a box. I am walled, and they won't recover spirit.

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