Hurt Me Daddy, for I Have Blogged

Theresa inhaled deeply. "I'm going away, Father." "My child, do not turn your heart away from the church." "Even Jesus struggled in the wilderness. He was tempted. Many of the Jewish patriarchs and Christian ascetics sat alone, in the wilderness." More silence. Theresa knew this was impertinence, questioning. "Goodbye. I'll see you again soon." Tears rained down her face as she walked out of the church. "Try harder," Father always said. Everyone said that to her, because they thought her heart didn't know the concept of courage. The blanket of clouds covering the gloomy day felt heavy. Theresa closed her eyes and heard the rushing of the wind. And silence. Deep silence, like soporific breathing. She was too passionate and hungry. A boyfriend from years ago always said she was too hungry for more of everything. Just silence. As if God had turned its back on her. A room, vacated by an elderly relative, who then died. "Ble...

This is not my original text. CONTENDING WITH GOD = THE STORY OF JACOB by Jamie Moran PART ONE 1, A friend in America requested a Scots name for her new border collie pup. So I pondered, but as I did so, she decided on my name, Jamie. The pup is OK with it, I am OK with it, and so it goes… But she did some digging into the original meaning of names, and found that 'James' at root signifies 'the supplanter.' This is not because of some tribal rivalry in ancient Scotland, but because the name James is the translation from the Hebrew 'Jacob.' It is the Hebrew name 'Jacob' which means 'the supplanter.' 2, As a result of this, I got interested again in Jacob's story, and went back to look at it in more detail. Its central motif--Jacob's wrestling with God--is embedded in a very strange tale indeed. Some people regard Jacob as a type of trickster [like coyote], but reading the story in full suggests he was not a trickster, not a sacred clown, ...

"What do you want to confess?" "I don't like this assumption of fault, frankly." "Well, everyone makes mistakes. No one completely avoids them...." Silence. "Father, why would God care?" "Because he loves each and every one of his children and wants them to do their best in life. He wants them to take the self-enriching path." Even more silence. "Ok. It's been....never since my last confession. I guess I never felt it necessary. Not that I thought I was perfect, just more that God might forgive me as I went along. What's more important to me is that the people close to me forgive me, to be honest. But I know that we can't have the season of joy without the season of privation. The truth is, father, that I'm having a difficult time relishing any happiness at all in this. Everything feels very sad and heavy." "It's supposed to be unpleasant." "That's not a good selling point." He c...

Who here can indulge in self-reflection anymore? My brother is being shot in the streets. My sister is being raped and destroyed. Everywhere, when I close my eyes, I feel it is the same people, in the same positions, with slightly different names. This side here, that side there. The rebellious brave or brave rebels learning to love torture and despair in the name of Sacrifice. I don't know if there's a word for "feeling heavy with the sorrows of the world." This language does not have it. My language, that tastes like having rocks in your mouth. What or who will unite us? Many fear a merging into one, as if our lines, colors, hairpieces, lack of shoes, headdresses will all be erased into something colorless. But this takes sacrifice. Maybe our bodies become erased, but not the heart. Who knows the lonely sound of the heart as it resonates quietly with billions of others, performing as they do? One day this will be a river of blood and water, flowing together. Who ha...