Hurt Me Daddy, for I Have Blogged

Still no call from her this morning. I got a letter. My unemployment got denied. So holds the hole in all the usefulness that I am meant to be. Far away in the distance, I am watching an old 1960s home movie about how I dug myself out. The person is someone who isn't me and the images are far away. I am thankful that I feel enough to want to perish. Past meets future in some quantum possibility where I am a boyish lout and have never heard of a suit. I could do it. I got an email this morning, too. From a woman I used to date. She made me a strange offer. I cannot tell it The hills are on fire, and she lives on one of those hills. It is our annual burnt sacrifice to the world here in Los Angeles. Luckily I don't live close enough to get the ash. This time. What we renewed seemed best. But the strange New Age chimes she left hanging from our entryway make frantic noise in this wind. I want to think of these as the flames of all that I falsely desired, though I don't kn...

I awoke today. My wife didn't call. Strange yields will come when we will them. This refrain kept echoing as I choked all the food and drink down and decided whether I wanted to consider my health at all today. Perhaps you are indignant. Perhaps you are absurd. She walked out three weeks ago. I still speak to her, but now it is the void of our house. Some swirling black cloud. Burning for fun later that day, I headed to the gym in the morning. The first available parking space was directly in front of the Scottish Rite temple. The looks on the sphinxes' faces were stern. Stony. I feel that I should be laughing at this. I am not. You will feel something tomorrow. I feel it all today. At least I am lucky enough to want to die.

When I felt the whisperings of some other feelings, but to describe it is the feeling that remembers it all. When the light first burned. I have never tasted of all these beauties. They always say "We are many, like strange and carnal vestal virgins." So I shed light on another, because her flame is stronger. Here is a thought from his head. I am a lazy man. So I've gone forward. Warm-welded, waiting for my sunken cities. My Adulthood Ideals shattered, my ethics laughed at and nearly disposed of for temptations. I was punished by the Lord for being human. So little do I hear this echo-chamber of thoughts these days. All I saw was her writing, wishing for her not to be my left-handmaiden. I have cursed her many times over but am unable to do even that. Everybody only remembers my strength, but I hope to remind them to love me back. So faint it sounds, hollow. I barely remember how to make these words. Wet dogs cannot reach profitable agreements. I found one of my lad...